Everyday new opportunities arise!

11 Apr

My “ordinary” life becomes extra{ordinary} when I recognize that I have talents and choose to activate them!

Everyday life

When others are not doing their jobs {well}

1 Apr

When others are not doing their jobs (well)!

When others brouillon-5

Here is a question from a reader :

“Hi, I’m aware that I complain a lot, mainly at my work. For years now, I’ve observed that conscientious and respectful people are becoming harder to find. Every day I depend on businesses and administrators to move my work forward. Either their work is not done, or it contains errors. I constantly have to start over, explain, double check the work, and WAIT. So I am moaning to people over the phone and via email… How can I handle this? – Maryse


Dear Maryse,

Thank you for your question, it is quite relevant! I am certain many readers are also confronted with this issue. I will attempt to help you with the lessons I learned in undertaking the challenge “I quit complaining (and bitching).”

As I read your message I tell myself that the real question is:

Is it okay to feel the victim of others and their behavior?

We think pointing at all the culprits in our lives puts us in a stronger position (and that hopefully our complaints will cause the other person’s attitude to change) but in the end we end up punishing ourselves.

Complaining does not help make others want to meet our needs (quite the contrary). They will either want to distance themselves or become defensive. At best, others will bend to our incessant demands because they will grow tired of our complaints, but in the end our real need will not be satisfied – the need for cooperation or collective contribution. We will have to wield the ‘stick’ to make others bend to our needs tomorrow again (and it is exhausting to always be the controlling one).

Yes, co-workers often make mistakes and are late… It is part of the challenges of group work and community life. And yes, if we want, we can find plenty of evidence that people are not conscientious or respectful enough. But what if we could free ourselves of those judgments?

And what would happen if you refused to feel a victim in this situation? You could then pay attention to what you could actually do to improve the contribution of all, and on the concrete steps you could take by inspiring instead of threatening.


6 steps to communicate so that you can be heard

3 Mar

A few months ago I wrote an article titled: Learning to express our needs and frustrations differently.part 1 and part 2

Today I want to share with you a visual that I have created to remind myself of this process. I printed it, taped it to my fridge and I am using it everyday.

Because sometimes we do have something to say to the people around us. We do need them to help us meet our needs. But it’s not always easy to communicate. The more important the need is, the more chances we have to slip into our blaming and complaining habit and let’s face it it’s exhasuting to complain and not feel heard.

6 steps canva

I am not a victim!

4 Feb

We are the victim when it comes to our boss, our job (or our lack of employment), the political crisis, our spouse, our family… you’ll notice that we often talk about ourselves as victims. We expend a lot of energy pointing out it’s not our fault – it’s the other person’s fault (our spouse, our children, our boss, our colleague, the President, the administration, service providers) we are in this mess !

I found out for myself that I had managed to develop a talent for pointing the finger at the culprits in my life. In a way it’s fun to be a victim because if the others are wrong then I am necessarily right. If the other person is guilty then it is up to him to find a solution to the problem, not me. But in the end, what this means (annoyingly enough) is that if the blame is squarely on the other person, I am powerless to do anything.

I have the power to choose to not be a victim! (2)

It is true that it is often easier to be a victim than someone who acts, but when I decide that I am the victim I no longer have the power to take control of my life. In the end, it’s me who suffers the real consequences. Wouldn’t you agree ?

When I cast myself as a victim I choose to give my power to the person who is supposedly “guilty.” By pointing the finger I make them the master of my destiny. I realized one day that I was able to refuse to function this way and I have no doubt that you can as well.

We talk to our friends, our relatives, our colleagues, about our lives because we need to interact and share our problems and, yes, that is an inherent part of love and friendship, as are compassion and support… All that is good. I am not saying that we cannot discuss our problems and share our suffering, far from it. But we have the power to REFUSE to cast ourselves as victims of anything, or anyone.

This is one of the biggest revelations of my life, that I was casting myself as a victim and I could easily choose not to.

I think it’s amazing to realize that we have that choice !

By looking at how we talk about ourselves and our problems, we have the choice to either give our power to the so-called culprits… Or not.

Imagine, if you are a no longer a victim, if others are not guilty… Then anything is possible ! No ?

Today is not just another day !

11 Jan

Today is not just another day… This day has been given to you. It’s a gift !

Open your eyes and look at the sky, at the face of people around you. Open your heart and see the beauty that is surrounding you.

Gratitude: The Short Film by Louie Schwartzberg from ecodads on Vimeo.

We are so good at complaining about all those times when life (and others) don’t meet our expectations. As 2016 is just starting, how about letting go of our resistance to enjoy our “not always very sexy lives”?

How about learning to embrace this life as it it. Simply beautiful and perfect (despite all its imperfections !).




Making 2016 awesome !

6 Jan


New year…New intention!

6 Jan

For some time now, I have been in the habit of adopting a keyword at the beginning of each year. This keyword is for me like an arrow aimed at life. It is an intention, a direction, a color, a flavor I want to bring to the heart of my daily life, my thoughts, my decisions and my actions.


During the year I chose the keyword “Epic”, that daily affirmation gave me the courage to overcome my biggest fear, getting on the stage of TEDx. This is also the year when I dared to lead my first seminar, WAKE UP, in France and the year I tried to get out of the water on a wake board (and succeeded). This is a year where I chose to put myself in personally challenging situations to have a little more fun (actually a lot more fun!) with life.

When I chose the keyword “Dance” I started to give myself permission to go dancing more often. I embraced dance not only as an occasional week-end  activity but as an appointment that I made with myself during the week – often during my office hours! That year I chose to train for  my NIA white belt on a ranch in Texas. This is the year when I realized that dance for me was not something frivolous – it is a connection with my body, my heart, my soul. I understood that to continue to create and generate great ideas, it is vital that I spend a few hours regularly barefoot twirling on the floor.

Finally, 2015 the year “Impact” was the year I focused on structuring my activities to better serve humanity. I translated “J’arrête de râler” (“I Quit Complaining”) into English and I managed to get a contract with an American literary agent. This is also the year when I decided to surround myself with a new, brilliant and efficient team who can anticipate my needs and allow me to focus on what I do best – sharing my message, writing, speaking, and giving clarity and support to my coaching clients.

In 2016, I want to put the word CONTRIBUTION at the heart of my intentions and ambitions, and with that word the fundamental question that I invite you to explore:

What is the contribution I wish to bring to humanity?

Personally, in 2016, I want to commit myself 100% to helping people who want to activate their brilliance and contribute  their lives in service to their community. (Even the smallest contribution we make impacts society at large.) I want to help those who wish to align their lives with their deepest desires and what they can bring to others. I want to empower all those who wish to transform their work into a life mission. I will be 100% commited to helping them awaken their purpose  and activate their talent. It is this desire for contribution that made me decide to launch the first WAKE UP forum, which will take place on March 18-20, 2016 in Lyon ( FRance). A FORUM of exchange and interaction open to larger numbers of people, so that together we can reflect on the four fundamentals  principles that prevent us from living life half-asleep. A place where, surrounded by people on the same path, everyone can focus on the direction they want for their life. A place of ​​brilliance and ambition so we can quit complaining and become DARING entrepreneurs of our own lives, the actors of tomorrow’s world.

This intent, the keyword CONTRIBUTION becomes a reference for me, an axis, a statement on awakening that helps me stay on the path I have chosen to follow. It helps me to stay connected with my inner strength, particularly when I meet obstacles in everyday life. (And who doesn’t?) It is not intended to replace your New Year’s resolution and can even give it more impact.

And you, what is the arrow that you wish to aim at life? What is the first word that comes to your mind?

What is the intent that lies in your heart and will give a direction, flavor, bright color to your everyday life?

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