When others are not doing their jobs (well)!
Here is a question from a reader :
“Hi, I’m aware that I complain a lot, mainly at my work. For years now, I’ve observed that conscientious and respectful people are becoming harder to find. Every day I depend on businesses and administrators to move my work forward. Either their work is not done, or it contains errors. I constantly have to start over, explain, double check the work, and WAIT. So I am moaning to people over the phone and via email… How can I handle this? – Maryse
Thank you for your question, it is quite relevant! I am certain many readers are also confronted with this issue. I will attempt to help you with the lessons I learned in undertaking the challenge “I quit complaining (and bitching).”
As I read your message I tell myself that the real question is:
Is it okay to feel the victim of others and their behavior?
We think pointing at all the culprits in our lives puts us in a stronger position (and that hopefully, our complaints will cause the other person’s attitude to change) but in the end, we end up punishing ourselves.
Complaining does not help make others want to meet our needs (quite the contrary). They will either want to distance themselves or become defensive. At best, others will bend to our incessant demands because they will grow tired of our complaints, but in the end, our real need will not be satisfied – the need for cooperation or collective contribution. We will have to wield the ‘stick’ to make others bend to our needs tomorrow again (and it is exhausting to always be the controlling one).
Yes, co-workers often make mistakes and are late… It is part of the challenges of group work and community life. And yes, if we want, we can find plenty of evidence that people are not conscientious or respectful enough. But what if we could free ourselves of those judgments?
And what would happen if you refused to feel a victim in this situation? You could then pay attention to what you could actually do to improve the contribution of all, and on the concrete steps, you could take by inspiring instead of threatening.
“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to helping people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE “I quit complaining” starter kit on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com and visit her Facebook page for inspirational articles and quotes to reveal the best version of yourself each day!