Life in the 21st century compels us to constantly climb up the ladder of success and become better organized. For most of us, this translates into being successful in our career, having a tranquil family life, having time for ourselves and being in good health. We put increasing pressure on ourselves, often driven by others’ expectations or by the standards imposed by society.
The boundary between work and private life is often blurred and everything overlaps in our agenda. We must succeed in everything and we are trying in vain to have a balanced life! Meetings, sport classes, family, kids’ afters school activities, things to finish up, errands to run … Our time is very precious and we are trying hard to balance it all throughout the day.
In our quest to successfully manage everything, we may feel the need to have everything under control, and our tolerance for the unexpected or for obstacles in the way becomes very limited.
When we finally realize that we cannot control what happens in our lives, we can become terribly frustrated because we feel slowed down and obstructed in our race and in our quest for balance. This can cause us to … start complaining.
It’s so frustrating not being able to control everything that happens around us, especially people and their reactions ! We learn that life is not a theater stage and that we cannot always change the setting and decors according to our wishes and that we cannot direct others as a director does with actors. Quite often, things don’t go as we would like to or as we had planned. Even if we think we know exactly what is good for us, unfortunately, we cannot always choose what happens to us. If we believe that we can control others in our lives, we are delusional and we set ourselves up for major frustrations.
This quit complaining challenge helped me realize that it’s normal not to be able to control others like puppets. And that it’s essential to take in consideration a few things:
- yes, others are also human beings like me and it ‘s an illusion to believe that I can tell them to obey my wishes at the lift of a finger;
- and yes, sometimes things are slowed down, others are blocking my progress and disagree with my plans;
- and yes, sometimes others are not ready, they may want to move slower or they may need to explore, to reflect … they may even want to do things totally differently;
- and yes, I am not all-powerful (darn!)… yet, I refuse to let this upset my overall life plans
The bottom line is that the less I complain, the more likely I am to achieve my daily goals and make some space for what really matters, and this, with a smile on my face.
NB: This article was written earlier at the beginning of my 21 day Quit Complaining Challenge and since then, I have made great strides in balancing and juggling my personal and professional life, which led to another book called WAKE UP ! Four Fundamental Principles to Stop Living Life Half Asleep. I will share some of those tips from my bilingual coaching blog in future posts!
Love and Respect,
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