Learning to use the right words… or the key to serenity!

How many times at work we find ourselves saying “Why me?”, “It’s always the same”, “It’s irritating”, “They’re all incompetent”, “Customers are never happy”!

We generalize, we omit, we exaggerate, amplify… and we do not find the right words. We accuse transportation (traffic jams or waiting time in public transports) for our delay, whereas – let’s be honest – we left home late or left it so “tight” that all the traffic lights would needed to have been green in order to arrive on time!

We end up believing what we say and distort our reality! We convince ourselves that we are victims of life.

Learning to use the right word...
Of course, we do it unconsciously and out of habit – because we adopt an accepted mode of functioning in our society. We tell ourselves it is not very important. Yet, by using words that are not accurate, we end up slowly killing our own integrity (and the same applies every time we do not respect our commitments to ourselves or others).
This impediment to our integrity (though so trivial!) affects us much more than we think. It blurs our perception of events and, little by little, takes us away from our center.

An infinite source of serenity arises from the simple act of applying ourselves to being impeccable in our communication. Saying things just as they are, removing our little lies, describing problems without exaggerating…

I firmly believe that when we navigate the ups and downs of our daily lives with integrity – in our words, and in our actions – only then can we connect with our inner power and cultivate a genuine, rich and delightful relationship with the people around us.

Try and you’ll see!

To further explore this subject, I invite you to read the famous book, the four agreements: a practical guide to personal freedom (a Toltec Wisdom book).

 

Want to use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to helping people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE “I quit complaining” starter kit on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com and visit her Facebook page for inspirational articles and quotes to reveal the best version of yourself each day!

 

Advertisements

1 TIP to help YOU quit Complaining – video 1

Want to use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to helping people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE “I quit complaining” starter kit on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com and visit her Facebook page for inspirational articles and quotes to reveal the best version of yourself each day!

My book now published in German… and many more languages!

Celebration!

I invite you to watch the video and discover how many languages my book “j’arrête de râler” (I quit complaining) is now available in!

Do you speak German, Italian, Spanish, Japanese, French Canadian, Korean, Chinese…?

I encourage you to read the book to learn how to become the entrepreneur and not the victim of your life!

And… it will be available in English soon!

If  English is your language, and you realize that complaining is a habit that robs you of enjoying and seeing the full potential of living… you don’t need to wait for the book’s upcoming release, you can join the 21 Day Challenge to Quit  Complaining and Bitching at any time, it is free!

Becoming entrepreneurs, and not victims, or our lives is not always easy but it makes us feel fully ALIVE!

Want to use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to helping people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE “I quit complaining” starter kit on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com and visit her Facebook page for inspirational articles and quotes to reveal the best version of yourself each day!

 

Embracing the Good, the Bad and the Ugly!

When we learn to quit complaining we learn to embrace life and that includes the good the bad and the ugly! We learn to stop resisting things that are “Happening to us”, we learn to transform our tendency to feel like victims and instead, we take full responsibility for our lives.

Writer Andrew Solomon has spent his career telling stories of the hardships of others. In this moving, heartfelt and at times downright funny Ted talk, he turns inward, bringing us into a childhood of adversity, while also spinning tales of the courageous people he’s met in the years since.  Solomon gives a powerful call to action here, a call to stop resisting our lives and to forge meaning from our biggest struggles.

What if instead of “finding” life meanings we actually “forged” life meanings because of (or thanks to) the hardships that are inherent to each one of our journey?

What if instead of complaining about what happens to us, we turned our struggles into inspiring lessons?

If you realize that complaining is a habit that robs you of enjoying and seeing the full potentials of living… why not use this month of September to establish a new powerful way of functioning, by joining the 21 Day Challenge to Quit  Complaining and Bitching at any time, it is free!

Becoming entrepreneurs, and not victims, or our lives is not always easy but it makes us feel fully ALIVE!

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to helping people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE “I quit complaining” starter kit on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com and visit her Facebook page for inspirational articles and quotes to reveal the best version of yourself each day!

 

Letting ourselves be seen… Brene Brown on “The Power of Vulnerability!

At the end of 2010, a researcher named Brené Brown gave a talk at her local TEDx event in Houston on the power of vulnerability. This talk came after a 10-year research journey on the subject of connection. She claims that connection is why we are here, that it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.

She found that being able to be vulnerable is the only way we can make connections with others and this discovery has led her to write books and to give talks. Here, she addresses what it means to be truly vulnerable as well as what led her to understand why being vulnerable is so important and why we so often resist it!

Her talk is at once funny and fascinating!

How and why do we so often numb vulnerability?

 

Some of the pearls of wisdom I glance from it are… the importance of leaning into the discomfort – the importance of believing that we are enough – that when we numb uncomfortable feelings, we also numb joy and happiness – that our actions have a huge impact on others. And maybe the most important one… that our job as parents is to tell our children that they are imperfect and wired for struggle but worthy of love and belonging!

The video has become a web-video phenomenon — viewed and shared by millions of people, it moved them, inspired them and helped them make a change in their own lives.

I would be honored if you shared your own experience with vulnerability and how it has impacted your life in the comment section of this page!

 

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to helping people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE “I quit complaining” starter kit on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com and visit her Facebook page for inspirational articles and quotes to reveal the best version of yourself each day!

 

 

Disconnecting during the summer months!

The holidays are the ideal time to get out of the perpetual emergency, the one that leads to spending our life at the rhythm of the constraints of our environment. This is the time to create a space for one (or more) activity that really makes us feel good… be it doing yoga, practicing meditation or going to the beach one hour every day.

Disconnecting during the summer months

If we are working and would like to spend time in nature, we can organize ourselves to spend a few hours a week, or a fortnight, in a place that will help us to recharge our batteries.

Let’s take advantage of the slower rhythm of this time of the year to dream about what we really want. For this, a tool that helps me is to draw a mental map. It helps me to visualize the place I give in my daily life to my work and my other activities and to become clear about what I want to add or change to it.

To be fulfilled in our professional and personal lives… let’s use the summer time to reflect on what we are grateful for and on what changes we want to implement into our daily life!

And if you realize that complaining is a habit that robs you of enjoying and seeing the full potentials of living… why not use this special time of the year to establish a new powerful way of functioning, by joining the 21 Day Challenge to Quit  Complaining and Bitching at any time, it is free!

How did you plan to unplug this summer?

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to helping people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE “I quit complaining” starter kit on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com and visit her Facebook page for inspirational articles and quotes to reveal the best version of yourself each day!

4 powerful summer tips for entrepreneurs!

Summer is here, the kids have put away their backpacks, the BBQ grill is ready and the Rosé is on ice! We are looking forward to a calmer rhythm and beautiful summer evenings with family and friends. Summer is a joy!

 

4 powerful summer tips for entrepreneurs! (8)

And yet, even though I really want to slow down and enjoy this season, I don’t want to have to pay for it in September. We spend so much energy working on our business growth and development all year, it would be a shame to entirely lose that momentum in the summer and have to double up our efforts in the fall to relaunch it.

What if summer became an ally to our success? What if summer was not only a source of  rest and relaxation, but also a source of renewed power?

Here are my 4 tips to put summer at the service of your projects:

  • Dare to create the space for your creativity.  During the summer we have the luxury of more time, even if we can’t take a vacation, the days are longer and our body rythm slows down. We can ease up on our to do lists and our emails and finally enjoy exploring our creativity. Do you dream of writing? We are entering a season particularly well suited  to advance on a book project or to take care of a blog.  Step by step, have the gentle discipline to put your great ideas on paper.
  •  Create your vision for the upcoming months.  As we are taking some distance from the daily spiral of activities, summer is a perfect time to reevaluate our vision for the fall. You can use techniques like Mind-mapping and answer the following questions:
  1. What 3 projects are closest to my heart in the next 6 months?
  2. What means do I have to devote to these projects? (time, competencies, money …)
  3. What quality time do I want to put at the heart of my life to take care of myself? ( yoga, singing, dancing, nature walks, meditation…)
  4. Do I feel like enrolling in a seminar or training? (which one and how much does it cost…)
  5. How can I contribute more value to others? (my colleagues, teams, clients…)
  6. What are the 3 actions that I want to take in September to create the biggest impact in my life?
  • Reconnect with the wisdom of your body and your soul.  With the weight of stress and responsibility, we tend to surrender control of our life to our brain. Our brain manages problems, finds solutions… we spend a great deal of our year reasoning, thinking, analyzing and coming up with solutions. Our brain is the boss and our future depends on its ability to analyse situations and make the right decisions. This summer, I’d like to invite you to quiet your brain and use another form of intelligence, the intelligence of your body and soul. What if your heart was seeking to tell you something? Are you ready to hear and listen? To do so, you need to disconnect from your brain a bit, create space and reconnect with your intuitive self. Danse, mediate, move, explore the possibilities of your body. Remove the blockages which prevent brilliance to emerge and dare to see the invisible, to hear the inaudible.
  • Celebrate. Summer is also the time to celebrate. To celebrate what we have accomplished over the year and take the time to rejoice in the beautiful things that life has brought us and which may have gone unnoticed. Take the time to SAY thank you to significant others in your life, your spouse, family, friends, colleagues… life in general! We have such an innate ability to express our complaints and dissatisfaction, focusing on what others have done poorly or not done for us… let’s make an effort to whine ourselves from all  negativity and let’s have the guts to strengthen our celebration muscle! 

And if you want to use this special time of the year to establish a new powerful way of functioning in your life, you can join the 21 Day Challenge to Quit  Complaining and Bitching at anytime, it is free!

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE “I quit complaining” starter kit on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com and visit her Facebook page for inspirational articles and quotes to reveal the best version of yourself each day!

 

Accepting what is!

Thank you Rosette Poletti for this beautiful and inspiring text, in complete harmony with the philosophy of I quit complaining!

To accept what is is to be lucid, to wake up, to become conscious, and to consider reality as it is. It is to disengage ourselves from our mental programming, our erroneous beliefs, our blinders.

Accepting what is!

Accepting what is is seeking how to deal with a situation, how to improve it and make it positive whenever possible. It is ceasing to ask, “Why? Why me? “. On the contrary, it is trying to find out ” what for? – To do what? ”

To accept what is, is sometimes to have no choice but to mourn what was, what could have been, what should have been, to live as fully as possible the reality of The moment and try to give it meaning.

To accept what is is to choose to renounce revolt, guilt, resentment, hatred and indifference. In other words, it means living upright, in all our human dignity.

Accepting what is, is the indispensable prelude to all personal growth, all search for a solution, all inner peace.

I would be honored to read what “accepting what is” means to you and how you apply it to your daily life. You can leave your comments on this page below!

Source : Rosette Poletti and Barbara Dobbs, Accepter ce qui est, 2005

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE “I quit complaining” starter kit on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com and visit her Facebook page for inspirational articles and quotes to reveal the best version of yourself each day!

What is my priority?

What to do when a person engages in behavior that annoys us?

Most of the time, we want to talk about it in order to change the behavior. Before opening our mouth, let’s ask ourselves the question: “What is my priority?”

2

“Is my priority to render the other guilty or is my priority to satisfy my need?”

“Is my priority to be right and to make the other understand that he is wrong or is my priority to find a solution to improve the situation?”

These questions are important because a person placed in a guilty position will NEVER want to cooperate. The whole art of being heard, therefore, lies in expressing our need without putting the other in the position of being the culprit… expressing our need so that the other can be part of the solution, rather than accusing him of being the source of the problem!

It’s a slight adjustment in how we usually do things, but I can assure you it will make all the difference!

Here are a few ways to explore this new way of communicating about our problems and our frustrations:

 – First of all, let’s prioritize our needs and ask ourselves if the need that “triggers” us in  the moment is really important. Do I really need to change the situation, or is it not a priority?

– Then let’s ask ourselves if the other is really the source of the problem, or if it is our perception and our attitude that makes it a problem. For example, if the other’s behavior is unavoidable (a friend moans and complains about something trivial, an adult has bad table manners…) then can I change my attitude and tolerate the behavior? Can I detach myself?

– And if my need is indeed a priority, it would be wrong for me not to address the situation! One of the first keys is to speak in the “I” mode, which is non-accusatory, and ask the other to help us find a solution for meeting our need. For example, instead of saying “You never do the dishes when we give a dinner”, say “I like to have our friends over. I really like to share a good meal but I often feel overwhelmed and start thinking it’s not fair because so much of the work rests on my shoulders, I need help to be able to really enjoy these dinners. How do you feel about doing the dishes the next time we have guests over?”

– Finally we can check that the other person is really onboard with the solution we suggested. If we sense that we do not have a complete agreement, we can then “renegotiate”: “It seems like you’re not really happy with that solution. Do you have another idea?” or “Is there something else you could do to contribute that suits you better?”, “Do you have an idea that might work for both of us?”

Speaking this way means the other person is much less likely to feel “guilty” and is more inclined to help us meet our need.

What do you think? I invite you to post your comments on this page.

 

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE “I quit complaining” starter kit on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com and visit her Facebook page for inspirational articles and quotes to reveal the best version of yourself each day!

 

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: