Have you ever heard of verbal Aikido ?

I have met Luke Archer a few year ago when we shared the stage for Tedx La Rochelle.

Luke recently visited me in Los Angeles and having great conversations with him allowed me to deeply appreciate his work even more.

Luke Archer is on the mission to bring his Verbal Aikido techniques to schools all over the world. Helping kids and adults alike use empathy to deal with verbal attacks, what an amazing and very powerful way to contribute to Peace.

You can find out more on his website: http://www.verbal-aikido.com/

How to have a Healthy relationship with an Unhealthy person

unhealthy relationships

The thing that bugs us about toxic people isn’t that they’re toxic.
It’s that we’re toxic when we’re with them.
In response to their aggression, we become defensive.
In reaction to their attempts to control, we get into power struggles.
In response to their superiority, we feel inferior.
In reaction to their criticisms, we become small.
So, it’s not so much the unhealthy person we want to avoid.
It’s the person we become when with them.
Some of the people we struggle with the most are not those we can so easily get rid of. Like family members and old friends.
We might try to improve the dynamic by processing our feelings with them. “When you do this, I feel that…” Yet that only works with someone who’s actually well enough to care about their impact on you.
Most likely, if you have a toxic person in your life, you’re not going to change them very much.
Does that mean you have to get rid of the person if you ever hope to be healthy yourself?
Not necessarily.
Yet you must decide to stop giving your power away.
You must refuse to be motivated or manipulated by fear, obligation or guilt in any relationship.
And be willing to speak the truth as you understand the truth, and set boundaries which offer consequences to bad behavior.
Make it a habit to speak the truth because truth has a way of disappearing toxicity.
“Ah, I see you’re putting me down again! I suppose you feel safer being in the one up position! Let’s take a break until you can get a handle on yourself.”
The secret to having healthy relationships with unhealthy people is to respond to someone’s lack of health in a healthy way.
-Katherine Woodward Thomas

Do we need a little bit more brainwashing ?

Brainwashing

We’ll go to the doctor when we feel flu-ish or a nagging pain. So why don’t we see a health professional when we feel emotional pain: guilt, loss, loneliness? Too many of us deal with common psychological-health issues on our own, says Guy Winch. But we don’t have to. Listen to the Ted Talk below and hear him makes a compelling case to practice emotional hygiene — taking care of our emotions, our minds, with the same diligence we take care of our bodies.

It is true that we take the time every day to brush our teeth or to shower our body. We know how important it is to put a bandage on a cut or go to the doctor when we ache too much. But what if we understood the importance of having a healthy mind?

What if we realized the impact that our negative thinking is having on our lives.

We all face frustration, failure, disappointment, and rejection but because we don’t take the time to heal ourselves they turn into judgment, limitation and for some of us burn out or depression.

Because we are lacking emotional hygiene instead of healing our pain we make it worse by letting our unhealthy psychological habits take over our mind. As a result, our mind can trick us into believing that we are worthless and that we can’t succeed.

It is time we understand that we have the power maintain a healthy mind and that it is the key to a more fulfilling life.

Are you ready to break the negative cycle?

 

 

I need your input!

Dear Readers,

My US publisher just sent me two proposals for the cover of my English book coming out in the spring.

I think I like the yellow better but I find that something is missing…

What do you think? I am sure you have some great ideas.

Also, we are unsure about adding a subtitle. We talked about adding

I Quit Complaining {and Bitching, and whining, and moaning, and blaming….}
How I learned to stop resisting my “not always very sexy” life.

We would write { and Bitching, and whining, and moaning, and blaming….} in a smaller and smaller font like a rant!

Do you have any thoughts on that?

coverIQCIquit complaining white

How do Lobsters grow?

When we feel stressed we complain. We feel uncomfortable and we want it to stop so we fire it out or we use strategies to numb ourselves ( medications, alcohol, drugs…).

In this video, Dr. Abraham Twerski shares with us a story about lobsters and how they can teach us an important lesson about the power of stress in our growth!

How to use adversity to expand our lives?

Listen to this simple yet powerful story about Lobsters!

 

If you are curious to see a lobster removing its shell, I found this video for you:

HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED THE POWER OF ADVERSITY IN YOUR LIFE? Please share your inspiring stories (we all need to hear more of those !).