Is being positive enough ? ( video)

18 May

WHEN OTHERS GET ON OUR NERVES

14 May

When we first start this challenge, we quickly realize that other people are what make us complain most of the time! “Our guilty ones”, as I call them. Human nature is not simple and sometimes, others can hurt us. We can’t understand their reactions, we fear not being respected or to be rejected…Others can anger us, stress us out, surprise us, disappoint us…And in those times it’s hard not to complain.

Irritated IQC

There is a native Indian fable, told at night around the sacred fire, that discusses just that, and it really helped me to accomplish this challenge.

Tale of Two Wolves

One evening, an elderly

Cherokee brave told his
grandson about a battle that
goes on inside people.

He said “my son, the battle is
between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.
One is evil. It is anger,
envy, jealousy, sorrow,
regret, greed, arrogance,
self-pity, guilt, resentment,
inferiority, lies, false pride,
superiority, and ego.

The other is good.
It is joy, peace love, hope serenity,
humility, kindness, benevolence,
empathy, generosity,
truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about
it for a minute and then asked
his grandfather:

“Which wolf wins?…”

the old Cherokee simply replied,
“the one that you feed”

 And you, which wolf are you feeding? Are you often offended by what others do? Do you feel judged, rejected, accused, neglected… Do you want to punish the ones that hurt you? Or do you refuse to speak to him or her to protect yourself?

This tale of two wolves invites us to understand that when we carry grief, we actually punish ourselves. In the end, we choose to cling to our suffering. We are very sensitive, our nerves are irritable and in the end we are prisoners of our own anger.

This challenge invites us to feed the good wolf living in harmony with others. The wolf who can healthily communicate in a constructive manner. The fair wolf, the wolf who has the courage to forgive to be free. The wolf who takes responsibility and doesn’t act like a victim. The wolf who chooses not to feel the attitude of others. The wolf who chooses happiness and serenity no matter what the others say.

I would like to invite you to observe your wolves and to see which one takes over in your life, at this very moment. Ask yourself if you are satisfied. Does it work for you?

If you want to live in peace, I suggest that you put a bracelet on your wrist and to start the ” 21 days I Quit Complaining Challenge”.  Don’t wait until tomorrow, accept the challenge now and get started. Every minute, each success and each failure is a rock that paves the road to a life of serenity.

Decide to get started, declare it to your friends and family members and go !

Love & Respect,

Christine Lewicki

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE ”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit” on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

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LEARNING TO LET GO OF OUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

12 May

Katie Byron, in her process of inquiry called  The Work (www.thework.com), demonstrates that a thought is harmless unless we believe it. This is why she invites us to question ourselves in order to distance ourselves from what we think is “true”.

Doing this, we liberate ourselves from our resistance, we stop to mentally oppose ourselves to what is happening, thus we can better accept it and focus on finding a solution whether we are faced with an accident, loss of employment, a problem on the road, being late, health problems…

It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering” says Byron. When we allow ourselves to complain, we let our negative thoughts become real. Through our complaints, they enter our conversations, our relationships, our daily life…and little by little they become our life, our identity. We end up believing them!

letting go

It is important, to successfully complete this 21 days challenge to Quit Complaining, to distance ourselves from our complaints and not let them invade our being. We have to learn to let go, to question their appropriateness. However, I can assure you that we aren’t trying to suppress them. I am very well aware that it is practically impossible to prevent them from manifesting themselves in us and this isn’t the topic of this blog.

Our brain is a very active organ that thinks, thinks, thinks all day long. Our thoughts come and go without us being aware of it. They manifest themselves in our brain a thousand at a time and we can’t prevent them from doing so. Some are positive, some are negative. And at the end, this isn’t really important because they don’t hurt us. This is why in this challenge, complaining in your head doesn’t count. We just let the complain go by and keep going about our business.

The problem is when we start getting attached to our thoughts, to give them meaning and to express them through complaints. From that point on, we are embedding negative thoughts in our life. We anchor them. This challenge, however, invites us to find a healthy space to fully live our negative thoughts and get rid of them.

After that, the important thing is to learn how to let our negative thoughts come and go without disrupting our life and becoming attached to our frustration!

The idea here is not to deny our emotions. In the contrary, it is important to allow ourselves to feel our emotions. But after that it is necessary to let go, to not get attached to our negative thoughts, to not cling on to them or give them life through our conversations…by complaining!

It is true that sometimes we really have a way of rehashing the same worries. Our brain then works like a scratched record. It repeats and repeats and repeats itself almost all day. It’s stuck on complaints mode.

To discharge your frustrations, you can write in a journal, play a sport, take a walk around the block, talk to a friend in a constructive manner or see a specialized doctor if you think you need professional help.

I wish you a great day !

Love and Respect,

christine-signature

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Christine Lewicki

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Certified Business Coach, Speaker, MasterMind Group Leader and Bestselling Author. She is committed to help people quit complaining and  become entrepreneurs of their lives ,  one {im}perfect action at a time. You can download your FREE I Quit Complaining Starter Kit  HERE”

Stop The Negative Voice in Our Head!

12 May

the-voice-in-your-head-that-says-you-cant-is-a-liar

“My words create my reality. If I change the message I have the power to change my life” Christine Lewicki

The little voices in our heads or the chatterbox…we all have it and it accompanies us everyday.

There’s the voice of enthusiasm full of projects, ideas. The voice that encourages us to grow and discover. It’s the little voice that says ” what if…”

And there’s the voice of fear that drags us down and kills our joy. The one that stops and prevents us from moving forward. It’s the little voice that says: ” I can’t do it …I am not capable…”

These two little voices or chatterbox live inside us and they are especially active in the creative, curious and entrepreneur types.

The voice of fear is often powerful and takes up lots of room in our lives. It often gets on our nerves, frustrates and gives us a bad image of ourselves. We’d like it to shut it up but to no avail.

Do you know the book called “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway” by Susan Jeffers ? It’s an excellent book that encourages us to forge ahead with our projects beyond our fears.

Today, I’d like to invite you to consider and treat the voice of fear like your ally. I’d like you to ask yourself the following question: “How is this fear voice seeking my good?” What is it trying to tell you?

Could it be that this little fear voice is telling you are not ready,that the timing is not quite right… Take a good listen to hear what it is trying to tell you (versus limiting you) Sometimes fear is telling us that we are going through something very important for us. If we feel afraid it simply means we are living something important. It doesn’t necessarily mean that we have to stop and take a step back but on the contrary forge ahead and go forward because it matters. (with caution).

Once you’ve identified the messages, tune in again to the voice of enthusiasm and feed off it as soon as possible. Can you see how these two voices can become partners for your well-being and your growth?

I’d like to invite you to take notice of these two voices and really decipher what they are telling you… play and adjust the volume! Most important seek to identify the message of the little voice that limits you and replace the message with a stronger more positive message!

Love & Respect,

Christine Lewicki

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE ”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit” on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

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I QUIT COMPLAINING {and Bitching} STARTER KIT!

8 May

IQC VisualWelcome to the community (or shall I say Tribe?) of those who want to quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives.

Wahooo!!! I am thrilled to inform you that I created a fabulous Starter Kit for you ! ( and best of all it’s FREE, my gift to YOU !! ).

In this kit, I wanted to share with you a series of articles, videos, and tools that I especially selected because I feel they could have the biggest impact in your personal growth journey.

As a member of this tribe, you’ll also be added to my newsletter ( hope you’ll enjoy it, and please know that you can unsubscribe at any time). What a joy it is to know that we’ll be in touch to continue the conversation started on the blog http://www.Iquitcomplaining.com.​

Readers of my books and journalists often ask me to share tips on how to quit complaining. Yes, sometimes good intentions are not enough and we need some guidance to be able to take the plunge and take full responsibility for our lives.

I hope the content of this starter kit will help.

CLICK HERE to Dowlnoad your FREE starter Kit !

Love & Respect,

Christine Lewicki

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE ”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit” on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

ARE WE SCARED OF BEING “DIFFERENT” BY BEING HAPPY?

6 May

Have you ever noticed that often times we complain to relate with others and talk  about our misfortunes? We build friendships on our common misery; we come together around our “stories”. This rings even more true at work or in public places. Complaining is also something we use all day long to break the uncomfortable silence when surrounded by people we don’t know very well. Think about all the small talks about the weather – it’s always too hot, too windy or too cold! -, in the elevator, or even about how trains or planes are always late.

choose-happiness-4

Because I work as a coach and do a lot of research on personal development, I have proof everyday that the way we choose to experience certain situation creates our reality. In fact, although we cannot always choose what happens to us, we can always choose how we want to deal with it. Our reaction will impact our day and ultimately our lives.

At any moment, we have the choice to live our life the way we want to, no matter what happens. Pain, failures, problems, difficulties…We can decide to consider ourselves as a powerless victim or we can’t decide that we won’t be a victim of anything or anyone We can choose to be overwhelmed or we can take our happiness in our own hands while celebrating what life gives us.

Very often, however, I notice that we are uncomfortable when it comes time to choose happiness. That’s because we are surrounded by people who prefer complaining, whining, and victimizing themselves. There is a complaint culture going on, and to choose happiness is to be “different”.

There is no shame in choosing happiness.” – Albert Camus, The Plague Vintage (May 7, 1991)

This culture pushes us to complain to relieve our frustrations. We don’t really ask any questions, we just follow the trend, doing like everyone else and complaining about everyone else. For me, this challenge truly evidenced how we tend to feel secure when we come together with others about our problems. We are so used to complaining together that we think that doing otherwise would exclude us.

Fitting in is reassuring, we know what to expect when we complain: we expect to receive compassion from the other person, or perhaps he or she will chime in and feed our suffering.

In addition, a conversation filled with complaining is very surface, it allows us to hide, it is not threatening to others as we are not inviting them to join a conversation in a deep or elevated manner. We lightly talk about negative things without taking any risks. Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to discuss something we are against rather than something we are for?

Sometimes, in our little daily chats, we complain because we feel that if we talk about what’s going our way, if we celebrate, our happiness will be stolen or others will look at us funny and be jealous. So, we decide to spend our energy on what’s hard, what’s not going very well. At the end of day, we create complaining “feasts”. We focus our attention on our problems and thus attracting more unwanted things in our life.

Try it yourself, start your day with a little complaining and you’ll quickly realize that you’ll have all the excuses in the world to complain all day long.

Love & Respect,

Christine Lewicki

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE ”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit” on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

The single most important step you can take on your path for personal growth

5 May

Personal growth is getting a lot of momentum theses days. So many people I meet are committed to do their “work”. More and more people are hiring coaches or doing workshops and retreats to expand their awareness, rise their consciousness and create a more fulfilling life for themselves.

The more I think about the journey I embarked on when I decided to take my 21 challenge to quit complaining, the more I realize that this challenge is probably the single most important step you can take for yourself when you want to grow.

First Step

I have now led hundreds of people during my own seminars and workshop and each time someone feels like despite all their inner work they are not getting the results they want, we go back to this idea of quitting the complaining.

I see so many people who are thinking of themselves as ” positive” people.  They are outgoing and they usually do tend to see the glass half full instead of half empty when difficulties arise. I really connect with those people because I was exactly like them. I think that if I had seen the cover of my own book ” I Quit Complaining { and Bitching} in a bookstore I would have NOT bought it. It would have said ” I don’t need it, I don’t complain !”

This is because when we talk about this topic of complaining we easily think about the big complainers in our lives: the colleague who is always ranting about everything, a member of our family who seems to never be happy or satisfied with what is. They are irritating us and we don’t want to be around them. Most of you ( like me)  are not like that.

But does that mean that we don’t complain ? how do we react when our child spills milk on the floor ? how about when we are stuck in traffic or when we get to work and our long to do list is putting too much pressure on us ? Maybe we are nothing like the loud complainers that we have identified in our lives, but does that mean that we don’t complain ?

Why does it matter to quit complaining, you may ask ?

My understanding is that when we complain we are choosing to put ourselves in the victim seat of the situation. We are pointing fingers and usually  making someone else wrong for the frustrating situation.

Taking this 21 day challenge to quit complaining is the most important step on your path to freedom. When you start this challenge you get to wake-up in the morning and decide that no matter what happens ( and sh.t will happen, many people won’t do what you want them to do ) you won’t be a victim of anything or anyone. When I say that you won’t be a victim I am not only referring to the BIG situation of your life, I am also and precisely referring to all the small and insignificant frustrations of our every days lives. You decide that you won’t be a victim of the milk spilled on the floor, you won’t be a victim of traffic ( what will you do instead?), you won’t be a victim of your workload…

Being a victim is easy, taking responsibility for your day is another journey. When you make this firm decision that you won’t be the victim then anything and everything becomes possible. And that is THE most important step you can take if you want to grow.

Don’t you think ?

Love & Respect,

Christine Lewicki

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit” on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

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