THE COMPLAINERS AND I

30 May

Yes, I was the complainer and played victim. before I started the 31 Day Quit Complaining challenge… and another thing that motivated me to take over this challenge was how much I was affected by the complainers all around me.

Being surrounded by complainers in my daily life, out in public, at work, at home, takes up a lot of my energy. I am sensitive to their negativity and it usually ruins my day. I might end up feeling their anger, or I sympathize with their complaints, sometimes I even feel guilty and end up asking myself if I did anything to make them complain!

What about you? Are there any complainers in your life?  How do you feel when you hear them whine?

For me, this was all a realization. The way I react when surrounded by complainers made me realize the importance of not complaining for my husband, my kids, my friends, professional relations or even my colleagues.

If other people’s complaints affect me that much, I have and had  to change.

Be the Change

” Be the change you want to see in the world ” Ghandi

And then things clicked… I remember very vividly the day when things clicked and I decided to finally start the challenge. I had that conversation in bed with myself a few weeks prior, but at that time I didn’t have the courage to dive in. Twenty-one days without complaining is a lot. I made up a bunch of excuses: I don’t have time, it’s not the right time, I don’t want to have one more thing to stress over or even think about.

But despite all of this, one day when we were hanging out with close friends, things just clicked. We were all together eating some good food at my friend Sabine’s house, who was nice enough to have us over.

A nice Sunday meal with all the kids running around, while the parents enjoyed a cup of a coffee after the feast. Then we started talking about people who complain all the time. We all agreed that it was exhausting to be surrounded by complainers. And then I heard myself say: “Oh people who complain all the time are lame, they’re wasting their time…”. At this very moment, it clicked: I realized that I was now complaining about complainers!

It took me this very moment to finally decide to do it, to get out of this downward spiral, of this habit I don’t like. And this is how the “I Quit Complaining” challenge was born. I made a little video and posted it on a brand new blog in French my native language (www.jarretederaler.com) and I posted it on social media…and then the word got around. After a few days, many well-known bloggers started spreading the word out too, and I was invited on  a national  French radio show. A few weeks later, my blog got press coverage (in the monthly publication Psychologies and the weekly magazine Le Pèlerin). Clearly, I wasn’t the only one interested by the idea! And now, if you are reading this book, you are certainly interested as well!

I decided not to do the challenge in secret, by myself. With the blog, I tried to share the adventure and to get support. The blog worked and allowed me to make a daily summary of things and to exchange ideas with my readers and learn lessons. That being said, at the end of the book you will find exercises and questions to help you make the summary yourself and learn a few lessons along the way too.

 THANK YOU,  GANDHI

Love & Respect,

Christine Lewicki

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE ”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit” on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

IQC Visual

 

What is your recurrent complaint ?

28 May

What is you recurrent complaint ? Is there a complaint that comes out of your mouth more often than others. This one is almost automatic, it comes back almost every day, sometimes even many times during the same day, or even first thing upon awakening.

For me,  I found that my recurrent complaint has been ” I am too fat”, or ” I am not making enough money” , or ” I spend too much time on my emails”.

As soon as I decided to embark on this journey to quit complaining, I realized that I had to start to do something different in my life if I wanted to get a different result. As Einstein says it very well “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result”.

Insanity Eisntein

So, I decided to replace insanity with discipline. If I wanted to stop complaining about my body I had to do something every day toward getting fit or else I should let go of my expectation to have a fit body ! Simple, right ?

We complain when there is gap between what we expect and  our reality. The most powerful way to reduce suffering and thus the complaining that goes with it is to reduce this gap. Either we work on improving  our reality, or we work on letting go of our expectations!

That’s when discipline becomes our best friend. Instead of seeing discipline as a constraint we start to see it as our key to freedom and fulfillment. Setting free of our frustrations, dealing with them one day at a time to create the life that we truly want.

You cannot be happy without discipline. In fact, if you want to measure the level of happiness in your life, measure your level of discipline. You will never have more happiness than you have discipline. The two are directly linked to each other. If you want to increase the level of fulfillment and happiness in a certain area of your life, increase your level of discipline in that area of your life. On the other hand, if you find that you are altogether too happy too much of the time, you may want to think about decreasing the level of discipline in your life. Discipline and happiness are directly linked.”   ~ Matthew Kelly from Perfectly Yourself

 

Love & Respect,

Christine Lewicki

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE ”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit” on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

IQC Visual

How lucky I am….

21 May

Today I want to share with you this beautiful quote from Albert Eistein.

“From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: that we are here for the sake of each other— above all for those upon whose smile and well-being our own happiness depends, and also for the countless unknown souls with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy. Many times a day I realize how much my own outer and inner life is built upon the labors of my fellow men, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received.”

There is so much wisdom in this quote. Yes, we tend to be so caught up into our every day “little stories and drama”s that we forget to asknowledge all those things that life is giving us. We turn on the radar of all the things that others are not doing for us and all the things that we don’t have ( time, money….). We complain about our kids who are struggling to get ready in the morning, we complain about the cars on the road that are slowing us down, we rant about our never ending to do list, we grunt about how tired we feel at the end of the day, and how there is still so much to be done… We are living a life of lack and limitations, and we forget to see what life is actually giving us.

enjoy-life-quote

How lucky I am to live this life. How grateful I am for all the things that I get to enjoy everyday  because others before me worked really hard to create them and make them accessible to me.  How amazing it is that I have in my own home a dishwasher, a washer ,and a dryer. I even have two cars in my driveway !!! I got to move into this awesome house in this lovely neigborrod and I did nothing to build any of that ! I just get to use and enjoy those things ! Isn’t that amazing ?

So Yes ,I have decided to stop complaining and to start living. I have decided to see what life is giving me and liberate myself from the lack and limitation mindset. I have decided  to be more interested by what I can create for others instead of wasting this beautiful life in and with  my little problems.

How about you ? Are you ready to embark on this journey with me ?

 

Love & Respect,

Christine Lewicki

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE ”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit” on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

IQC Visual

Is being positive enough ? ( video)

18 May

WHEN OTHERS GET ON OUR NERVES

14 May

When we first start this challenge, we quickly realize that other people are what make us complain most of the time! “Our guilty ones”, as I call them. Human nature is not simple and sometimes, others can hurt us. We can’t understand their reactions, we fear not being respected or to be rejected…Others can anger us, stress us out, surprise us, disappoint us…And in those times it’s hard not to complain.

Irritated IQC

There is a native Indian fable, told at night around the sacred fire, that discusses just that, and it really helped me to accomplish this challenge.

Tale of Two Wolves

One evening, an elderly

Cherokee brave told his
grandson about a battle that
goes on inside people.

He said “my son, the battle is
between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.
One is evil. It is anger,
envy, jealousy, sorrow,
regret, greed, arrogance,
self-pity, guilt, resentment,
inferiority, lies, false pride,
superiority, and ego.

The other is good.
It is joy, peace love, hope serenity,
humility, kindness, benevolence,
empathy, generosity,
truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about
it for a minute and then asked
his grandfather:

“Which wolf wins?…”

the old Cherokee simply replied,
“the one that you feed”

 And you, which wolf are you feeding? Are you often offended by what others do? Do you feel judged, rejected, accused, neglected… Do you want to punish the ones that hurt you? Or do you refuse to speak to him or her to protect yourself?

This tale of two wolves invites us to understand that when we carry grief, we actually punish ourselves. In the end, we choose to cling to our suffering. We are very sensitive, our nerves are irritable and in the end we are prisoners of our own anger.

This challenge invites us to feed the good wolf living in harmony with others. The wolf who can healthily communicate in a constructive manner. The fair wolf, the wolf who has the courage to forgive to be free. The wolf who takes responsibility and doesn’t act like a victim. The wolf who chooses not to feel the attitude of others. The wolf who chooses happiness and serenity no matter what the others say.

I would like to invite you to observe your wolves and to see which one takes over in your life, at this very moment. Ask yourself if you are satisfied. Does it work for you?

If you want to live in peace, I suggest that you put a bracelet on your wrist and to start the ” 21 days I Quit Complaining Challenge”.  Don’t wait until tomorrow, accept the challenge now and get started. Every minute, each success and each failure is a rock that paves the road to a life of serenity.

Decide to get started, declare it to your friends and family members and go !

Love & Respect,

Christine Lewicki

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE ”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit” on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

IQC Visual

LEARNING TO LET GO OF OUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

12 May

Katie Byron, in her process of inquiry called  The Work (www.thework.com), demonstrates that a thought is harmless unless we believe it. This is why she invites us to question ourselves in order to distance ourselves from what we think is “true”.

Doing this, we liberate ourselves from our resistance, we stop to mentally oppose ourselves to what is happening, thus we can better accept it and focus on finding a solution whether we are faced with an accident, loss of employment, a problem on the road, being late, health problems…

It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering” says Byron. When we allow ourselves to complain, we let our negative thoughts become real. Through our complaints, they enter our conversations, our relationships, our daily life…and little by little they become our life, our identity. We end up believing them!

letting go

It is important, to successfully complete this 21 days challenge to Quit Complaining, to distance ourselves from our complaints and not let them invade our being. We have to learn to let go, to question their appropriateness. However, I can assure you that we aren’t trying to suppress them. I am very well aware that it is practically impossible to prevent them from manifesting themselves in us and this isn’t the topic of this blog.

Our brain is a very active organ that thinks, thinks, thinks all day long. Our thoughts come and go without us being aware of it. They manifest themselves in our brain a thousand at a time and we can’t prevent them from doing so. Some are positive, some are negative. And at the end, this isn’t really important because they don’t hurt us. This is why in this challenge, complaining in your head doesn’t count. We just let the complain go by and keep going about our business.

The problem is when we start getting attached to our thoughts, to give them meaning and to express them through complaints. From that point on, we are embedding negative thoughts in our life. We anchor them. This challenge, however, invites us to find a healthy space to fully live our negative thoughts and get rid of them.

After that, the important thing is to learn how to let our negative thoughts come and go without disrupting our life and becoming attached to our frustration!

The idea here is not to deny our emotions. In the contrary, it is important to allow ourselves to feel our emotions. But after that it is necessary to let go, to not get attached to our negative thoughts, to not cling on to them or give them life through our conversations…by complaining!

It is true that sometimes we really have a way of rehashing the same worries. Our brain then works like a scratched record. It repeats and repeats and repeats itself almost all day. It’s stuck on complaints mode.

To discharge your frustrations, you can write in a journal, play a sport, take a walk around the block, talk to a friend in a constructive manner or see a specialized doctor if you think you need professional help.

I wish you a great day !

Love and Respect,

christine-signature

IMGP6017

Christine Lewicki

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Certified Business Coach, Speaker, MasterMind Group Leader and Bestselling Author. She is committed to help people quit complaining and  become entrepreneurs of their lives ,  one {im}perfect action at a time. You can download your FREE I Quit Complaining Starter Kit  HERE”

Stop The Negative Voice in Our Head!

12 May

the-voice-in-your-head-that-says-you-cant-is-a-liar

“My words create my reality. If I change the message I have the power to change my life” Christine Lewicki

The little voices in our heads or the chatterbox…we all have it and it accompanies us everyday.

There’s the voice of enthusiasm full of projects, ideas. The voice that encourages us to grow and discover. It’s the little voice that says ” what if…”

And there’s the voice of fear that drags us down and kills our joy. The one that stops and prevents us from moving forward. It’s the little voice that says: ” I can’t do it …I am not capable…”

These two little voices or chatterbox live inside us and they are especially active in the creative, curious and entrepreneur types.

The voice of fear is often powerful and takes up lots of room in our lives. It often gets on our nerves, frustrates and gives us a bad image of ourselves. We’d like it to shut it up but to no avail.

Do you know the book called “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway” by Susan Jeffers ? It’s an excellent book that encourages us to forge ahead with our projects beyond our fears.

Today, I’d like to invite you to consider and treat the voice of fear like your ally. I’d like you to ask yourself the following question: “How is this fear voice seeking my good?” What is it trying to tell you?

Could it be that this little fear voice is telling you are not ready,that the timing is not quite right… Take a good listen to hear what it is trying to tell you (versus limiting you) Sometimes fear is telling us that we are going through something very important for us. If we feel afraid it simply means we are living something important. It doesn’t necessarily mean that we have to stop and take a step back but on the contrary forge ahead and go forward because it matters. (with caution).

Once you’ve identified the messages, tune in again to the voice of enthusiasm and feed off it as soon as possible. Can you see how these two voices can become partners for your well-being and your growth?

I’d like to invite you to take notice of these two voices and really decipher what they are telling you… play and adjust the volume! Most important seek to identify the message of the little voice that limits you and replace the message with a stronger more positive message!

Love & Respect,

Christine Lewicki

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE ”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit” on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

IQC Visual

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,309 other followers

%d bloggers like this: